Becoming a parent through adoption is a unique experience. Each adoption day story brings with it a sense of joy, awe, and at times, trauma and upheaval. I’ve found that no two stories are alike. When talking with adoptive parents there is often a sense of wonder met often with frustration.
Our adoption day story is filled with wonder, awe, and humility. It’s certainly hard to put into words. We celebrate our adoption day on the day when he came into our lives, the day we became parents. Though, legally the adoption wouldn’t be finalized for another 16 months, we consider our adoption day the day when he came to us.
Our adoption day story started just 2 weeks before we took him home. We were approached by a set of paternal grandparents in our congregation. They had been caring for their infant grandson and through discussions with the birth mother they knew that she was seeking to find an adoptive family for the child. They suggested to her they knew a couple they thought would be a good fit, and make good parents.
That couple was us.
What a humbling thought to think that these two grandparents deemed us to be the best fit for their grandchild. At the time, we were not licensed foster workers. We were not in the adoption process, we were not seeking to be adoptive parents. We were of course not opposed to adoption we simply were not in that place, at that time.
They approached us and asked us to consider adopting their grandson. Two weeks later, the following story took place.
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Our Adoption Day Story
The alarm went off in the early morning hours. The first rays of light had yet to even make an appearance. I was already awake when the alarm sounded. Well, truthfully I had not slept at all. I was too nervous that if I did I would wake and find that everything had been a dream. Beloved and I got up and began our Sunday morning routine which after this morning would be forever changed.
We didn’t speak much. Just some very basic communication between a husband and his wife as we set about showering, dressing. I was dressed before he was as I recall, or perhaps that was simply they way things usually are, so perhaps I don’t recall at all. I do remember going to make myself some coffee. The rest of the morning activity before leaving are gone in a blur of un-recollected thought. It was much earlier than we would normally be up and about even for a Sunday.
We headed off in our light green Ford Windstar for the 20 minute drive. At some point he reached for my hand and said, “Are you o.k.?”
I have no knowledge of what I said to him, but I do remember distinctly what I was thinking. This can not be happening. It isn’t real. I can’t imagine what she is thinking and feeling right now. Lord, give her strength and courage beyond 10 legions of angels. I’m trusting in You, thank You! I just kept thinking that all morning, and had most of the night and the 2 weeks preceding that day.
We arrived at a restaurant. As we got out, we knew that she was already there because we recognized her mom’s car sitting in the parking lot. We walked inside hand in hand. There she stood. Her mom was holding him and she held the car seat carrier. The hostess led us to a table.
We were sitting at a table at the back of this restaurant and the waitress was asking about breakfast orders. I couldn’t eat. But, to not eat would look rude so I ordered the breakfast buffet and some OJ. At least, I think that is what I did.
What I really remember was that I kept thinking, This can not be happening. It isn’t real. I can’t imagine what she is thinking and feeling right now. Lord, give her strength and courage beyond 10 legions of angels. I’m trusting in YOU, thank YOU!
I don’t recall conversation. I’m sure there was conversation, because you don’t sit in a restaurant for over an hour with someone and not talk. But, I cannot remember what we talked about. At some point we took photos; us of them, and they of us and all of us together, with him. Then, her mom said, or maybe Beloved said, it was time to go.
Her eyes kept following me, it was as awkward for her as it was for me and I wanted to comfort her, but didn’t know how.
I said, “You carry him.” So out we walked from the restaurant, him in her arms. We reached our van, and Beloved and her mom started to put the car seat in it. I looked at her, and then, I hugged her and whispered in her ear, “Are you sure?” She simply nodded, looked at her mom, then handed him to me.
Before I knew it Beloved whisked him out of my arms and strapped him into the car seat. We all hugged. Then we left. As we pulled away I felt something wet fall upon my hand and looked down. That’s when I realized I was crying. “This can’t be real.” I think that I said that out loud. I don’t know maybe it was just what I was thinking.
Learn more about different types of adoption from Understanding Adoption at Blessed Simplicity.
About 10 minutes later, we arrived in a parking lot of a local restaurant. In another van sat a man and woman, who had more love for him than anyone could ever imagine. We were giving him over to them but just for, what now seems like, a moment. We strapped him into their car seat.
Then each returned to their own vehicle. We followed them, and arrived at our place of worship in about 10 minutes. But we went a separate way from them. We went to one Bible class while they went to another.
In an hour it was time for worship. I sat with a heart that was filled with glory and wonder. All the while craving what was mine, but yet to be mine. I was numb. The final song was sung, a prayer was led. Then he stood and carried him to the front behind the pulpit.
He said “Three months ago, we told you that we were looking for a home for this little guy, our grandson.” He got choked up and began to cry.
Then he said, “Mike & Renee.” Beloved took my hand and led me to the front, and there standing before our congregation of brothers and sisters, he handed him to Beloved. Words were said, tears were shed, hugs were given and our life was changed.
Little Man became ours that day, our son, that God has blessed us with through the hands of a loving birth-mother, and grandparents intent on protecting and providing for him, for all the days of his life.
I still often think This can not be happening. It isn’t real. I can’t imagine what she is thinking and feeling right now. Lord, give her strength and courage beyond 10 legions of angels. I’m trusting in You, thank You!
We get to share him with the dear sister in the Lord, who has become like a second mother to me, our dear Ms Joyce, Grandma Joyce. Her dear husband whose arms handed him into ours, has passed on to his reward.
We are a family which was brought together by our loving God. Praise HIM for HE has done GREAT THINGS.
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